June 2015 Goals

And....we're back for a moment.  Which is just long enough for me to revise and revamp my life goals. So, what do I have planned?

-In the next 3 months (Now-August)

  1. Make Art Schedule 
  2. Finish Taxidermy Deer
  3. Get back to blogging regularly
  4. Go to the beach more
  5. Work on collaboration project with Damian
  6. Read daily

-In the next 6 months (Now-December)

  1. Put out a call that I'm available for Test Knitting
  2. Continue with Taxidermy Animals
  3. Build small loom
  4. Test new materials
  5. Make mini Taxidermy forms
  6. Draw/Paint more

I'd like to make a separate list of projects I have that wait in the wings, but I think I ought to take everything one step at a time. As stated in the 3-month goals, I'd like to get back to blogging more regularly.  

I must be honest, too. I have been stuck in a rut with a great many things. Maybe it's a bit of depression, maybe it's just a little bit of anxiety. Hell, maybe it's Mercury in Retrograde. Whatever it is, I've been having a difficult time with trying to get ideas off the ground, and even difficulty pushing myself to do things that would make me happier. But hopefully, soon, I can move past it all and gather enough strength and mind to get something moving. I can only read so many books and articles. At some point, you just have to get up and do it, right?

2015 Goals

Happy Friday!

Let's go over my 2015 goals, shall we?  This might be a post that evolves over the course of the day, but for now, let's recap what I said back in April 2014.

-In the next 3 months (Now-June)

  1. Begin packing (April)

  2. Extend lease to end of June (April)

  3. Locate storage space (June)

  4. Take the family cruise to Alaska and RELAX (May)

  5. Move back to my parents’ house (June)

  6. Continue working on felted animals and knitting projects

-In the next 6 months (Now-September)

  1. Continue working temp/contract jobs

  2. Continue searching for job in San Diego

  3. Search for housing in San Diego

  4. Take a trip to San Diego to physically be there while I search (July or August?)

  5. Move………………..?

-In the next 2 years (Now-2016)

  1. Living and working in San Diego

  2. Continue with felted animals and begin selling them

  3. Teach knitting classes

  4. Design knitting patterns to sell

  5. Go to the beach at least once a week (Sunday mornings?)

  6. Visit home 4-5 times a year (especially for Easter and Christmas)

  7. Travel (because the boyfriend probably wouldn’t let me get away with not traveling, but also because I’d like to see a little more of the world)

And now?

-In the next 3 months (Now-March)

  1. Find an apartment/house
  2. Move
  3. Continue working day job
  4. Sample knitting (more on that later)
  5. Design knitting patterns
  6. (Hopefully) Get started on art
  7. Make Sunday ME Days (Going to the beach, relaxing)

-In the next 6 months (Now-June)

  1. Continue working day job
  2. Continue working on art
  3. Continue sample knitting (?)
  4. Continue designing knitting patterns
  5. Family trip (June)

-In the next 2 years (Now-2017)

  1. Quit my day job
  2. Become a full time artist (maybe with a part time job)
  3. Travel?

It's a rough outline for now.  Hopefully as I continue living and working in San Diego (AHH! I can't believe I did it!) things will become more clear.

What kind of goals have you made for 2015?

I hope you have a wonderful weekend.  See you on Monday!

Word of Mouth

This idea came to me this evening as I was thinking about this past week.  As you know, I do a fair amount of social media-ing, just talking about stuff I'm making and trying to promote myself.  However, in the past week I've had two instances of actually being able to TALK to people about what I do and what I'm working on.  It's an interesting concept to me because a majority of my time is spent alone working on things.  I do post regularly about what I'm working on, but I don't know how much of this is seen.  Obviously, if you're reading this, you know about me, and you've seen some of the pieces I've made and am working on (or I hope you have).  But when I was able to talk directly to someone about it, I became a little more excited, and I wanted to work more on things.  I want to be able to show the world that I have these talents, and I want to be able to give that beauty or awe or whathaveyou to someone.  I wish I could produce something to sell for people to take home with them, but also a story to take with them. I'd probably never sell the things I made during undergrad.  But the things I'm working on now?  I'd love to be able to sell the felted taxidermy.  I'd love to design some knitted thing and sell the pattern to people.  I think I just get so caught up and lost in the process of trying to put myself out there, that I forget that I actually need to be working on my own designs, not just making the things people have already designed.  I have a few books lying around regarding this, and I really do need to pick them up and use them.  Obviously I'm good at MAKING things.  I just need to learn how to DESIGN things for other people to make and enjoy.

I think this just adds to my list of goals of things to do and learn and create.  Hopefully in the coming week I can do something with that.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday weekend, no matter what you celebrate.

Goals Past and Present

Last Friday, I mentioned I was going to work on goals.  I decided that it might be best for me to revisit a post I had made two years ago when I made this blog for my Marketing for Artists class.  It was really interesting to me, mostly because there was a section about two years from the point I wrote the post.  And now, it's been two years later...

-Short Term Goals (Now-2014 [2 yrs]) 1. Be selected to have work in 3 or more juried art shows. 2. Internship (preferably in San Diego). 3. Move in with two of my classmates who are also Fibers Majors. 4. Graduate in May of 2013. 5. Overcome my fear of what my parents think (regarding what I want to do and where I want to live). 6. Move to San Diego. 7. Work at a yarn/fiber store.

Now, it's kind of amazing to me that I have done about 5 out of those 7 things, and am still working on the other two.  The ones I completed are as follows:

1. I sort of lost interest in showing my work after I graduated, but I almost made my goal of 3.  During my undergrad, I was in 2 juried shows!

2. I did my internship in San Diego during the summer of 2012.

3. I moved in with one of the two Fibers classmates, and I've been living with him for almost 2 years!

4.  Yes, I graduated.

7. Besides my internship, I got a job at another yarn shop for a short period of time.

So, what am I still working on? 5 and 6.  I'm still working on getting over my fear of what my parents think regarding my life choices.  Friday after my meeting, I went to their house, and I just started crying because I was scared that they wouldn't support my decision to move.  In reality, they just didn't know how serious I was about moving to San Diego.  I think they'd support me no matter what, they're just worried about if I'll be able to find a job to afford living out there.  And of course, I'm working to get to San Diego.

So, I'm now going to make a list of current goals, but in shorter intervals, and then longer ones.

-In the next 3 months (Now-June)

  1. Begin packing (April)
  2. Extend lease to end of June (April)
  3. Locate storage space (June)
  4. Take the family cruise to Alaska and RELAX (May)
  5. Move back to my parents' house (June)
  6. Continue working on felted animals and knitting projects

-In the next 6 months (Now-September)

  1. Continue working temp/contract jobs
  2. Continue searching for job in San Diego
  3. Search for housing in San Diego
  4. Take a trip to San Diego to physically be there while I search (July or August?)
  5. Move....................?

So I guess those are my goals with a smaller time frame.  If I can't move by October, I at least want to be out by the end of the year.  The other thing is, I don't want to be living at my parents' for forever.  I'm so used to living on my own with friends and having that freedom.  Also, the boyfriend has been talking about moving in together, so we'll see where he is in September with his own job hunt.  After October, it gets kind of fuzzy in my head.  I can't quite see that far...but let's try.

-In the next 2 years (Now-2016)

  1. Living and working in San Diego
  2. Continue with felted animals and begin selling them
  3. Teach knitting classes
  4. Design knitting patterns to sell
  5. Go to the beach at least once a week (Sunday mornings?)
  6. Visit home 4-5 times a year (especially for Easter and Christmas)
  7. Travel (because the boyfriend probably wouldn't let me get away with not traveling, but also because I'd like to see a little more of the world)

So, that's where I am with all of that at this point.  I feel so much better now that I've written all of that down.  Hopefully it wasn't too boring.  And I know I have time.  I just have to put my mind to it.  And, even better, I know that the sky is the limit when I put my mind to it.

Photo Mar 25, 6 39 42 PM

In Regard to Yesterday's Quote

Yesterday's quote really hit home for me this week.  In the past couple weeks I haven't been feeling 100% about myself.  I think I was either working too hard, or my body was trying to get me sick, or my hormones were going crazy...but all in all, I was beginning to lose all hope about things that were important to me.  Namely, I was losing hope about my San Diego dream. Ever since maybe Sophomore or Junior year of college, I had this dream that I wanted to move to San Diego, have my studio by the ocean, make art and give small workshops for adults on Fiber Art.  Or maybe not by the ocean, but close to it.  The closest I've ever felt to achieving this dream was when I was doing my internship during Summer 2012.  But in the last couple weeks, I felt as if everything was slipping.  I don't feel as if the connections I have there are strong enough to achieve anything.  I feel like bridges are being burned.  I'm not sure I could afford being there.  And the jobs I'd want, no one is hiring for or they can't afford to have me.  I know this is all negative thinking.  I feel stuck.  I just always thought that I might be in San Diego by now.  Maybe that's naive of me.  I've talked it over with various people and a lot of them have been saying that I don't need those connections.  The connections I had before don't matter right now, all that matters is that I go out there and try to achieve my dream.  Which I understand, but San Diego holds a lot of memory for me, good and bad.  Do I really want to be in that environment?

And then I found the quote for yesterday:

“Do not lose hold of your dreams or aspirations. For if you do, you may still exist but you have ceased to live.” – Henry David Thoreau

Exactly.  If I don't have San Diego, then what do I have?  Routine.  Monotonous routine.  I've seen myself start to fall into that.  I've created a chore list for myself that I try to repeat every week, and that's all I've been getting done.  At least the house is somewhat clean, but it's not really.  I have my knitting projects, and sometimes I sit down to read, but every weekend I'm off to work and I feel like that ruins my creative motivation.  I've considered looking for a new job, but it'd have to be here for a little while.  I feel like I'm holding myself back.  I try to take steps to get myself to my dream, but it's those steps that are stopping me.  Maybe I should just get up and go?  Just pack everything up, take Stella, and go?  There's a couple of Knitwear Designer jobs in Irvine which isn't too far from San Diego.  Maybe I should apply for them and see?  But I also am looking forward to moving into a house with Damian and Arlyn this summer.  I just don't know.  Timing is never right.

But again, going back to that quote, I need to keep my dream in mind, or else I don't have anything else to strive for right now.  So, that's my motivation for today.  Other motivation is to organize sewing patterns, clean and organize papers in the car, and work more on my Embrace Sweater I started last week.  Hooray!

The Fine Line Between Childhood and Being an Adult

When I was trying to come up with my goals for one of my previous posts, I had a difficult time looking too far into the future.  I discussed it with a few people and the subject of marriage and kids turned up.  I think because I have such a hard time looking forward even into the next year, nevermind 5-10, I don't even want to imagine the possibility of either of those two things happening.  First off, I don't really have a steady relationship at the moment (I do, but I don't…it's far too complicated to explain here and it'd bore you anyway) and while I'm fully invested in that, I'm not sure where that will go.  Second, I'm a nanny.  I babysit kids all the time.  The last thing I want to do is have to take care of my own kids right now.  Emphasizing the notion of how I don't feel grown up, I want to live my life a little and feel a little more like an adult before settling down.  I'm watching so many people around me getting engaged and married, even pregnant, at a young age and part of me wonders what I'm doing wrong (or right in some cases).  The other part just dismisses it and goes back to focusing on my school, my art, and my own problems and worries.  Let's get that all sorted out before bringing someone else into the mix, shall we?

I'm 21.  I don't feel like I'm 21. I've been 21 since December.  For most of my college career, I've been assumed to be younger than I really am.  When I turned 20, I celebrated with my family by going to a movie and to dinner at the White Chocolate Grill.  My Dad asked our server how old he thought I was.  He looked at me and hesitantly said, "13….?  16….?"  Shaking his head with a chuckle, my Dad said, "Nope, 20."  Another time, we went in as a family to get our passports renewed at the post office.  The fellow assisting us didn't even ask me to sign my form because he thought I was under 12.  Dad says I'll be carded for a long time, and everyone says to be thankful I look so young.  I suppose I can't really complain in that aspect, but I just want to feel like I am this adult who can go out in the world and do things.

Something else I wanted to discuss on the topic of still being a kid was my absolute love for Disney.  I grew up going to Disneyworld every four years or so, I've been to Disneyland multiple times, I have books, pins, and listen to podcasts on the subject.  I can spew off a number of facts about rides, the parks, and more if you just ask.  The last time we went to Disneyland every time we got off a ride, my family would crowd around me and ask, "What next, Megan?"  Now, here comes the adult thing about my love for Disney parks.  I didn't want to rush.  That seemed to be the childish thing to do.  I wanted to take my time.  Meander.  Enjoy the park while I was there.  Take in the sights, sounds, and smells.  They wanted to take in the attractions as fast as possible.  I wanted to take in that and more in a paced way.

Disneyland is on my mind because my brother is getting to go there with a friend this weekend.  He's going to California, Disneyland and the beach.  My parents are going to spend a long weekend in Kansas visiting one of my sisters, her husband and their children.  And I will be here.  In Arizona, at school.  Maybe it is the adult thing to do: to accept my lot and use the weekend to work on my projects.  Nevertheless, how I wish I could be traveling this weekend.

Fiber Artist Goals

Let me first preface my goals with this small exercise. Whenever I try to think of what a Fiber Artist looks like out in the real world, I feel like I stumble.  Well, what do I want to feel like, look like, and what is the highest thing I could achieve after I graduate?  As I thought, I tried to come up with at least 3 answers to each question.

  1. What would make me feel like a successful FIBER ARTIST? -Having art in shows or galleries frequently. -People admiring my skills as more than a hobby. -Being motivated to work on more art to show.
  2. What would a successful FIBER ARTIST look like? -Spending days (and nights) working on art. -Dressing how I want to, be it pajamas or dressing up. -Rolling out of bed to work (studio in home?).
  3. What is the highest thing I could achieve as a FIBER ARTIST? -World renown artist (I can dream big, it's okay). -Popular Fiber Artist. - People avidly attending galleries with my art/workshops I hold.

I'm going to work on that part more.  But after thinking about those questions, I started to think about the goals to come.  The following are my short term goals, to be accomplished in a 2 year span.

-Short Term Goals (Now-2014 [2 yrs]) 1. Be selected to have work in 3 or more juried art shows. 2. Internship (preferably in San Diego). 3. Move in with two of my classmates who are also Fibers Majors. 4. Graduate in May of 2013. 5. Overcome my fear of what my parents think (regarding what I want to do and where I want to live). 6. Move to San Diego. 7. Work at a yarn/fiber store.

 -Long Term Goals (Now-2017 [5 yrs] or 2022 [10 yrs]) 1. Be living in a studio apartment near the ocean. 2. Have my own studio to work in. 3. Have more work in galleries and art shows. 4. Continue to work at a yarn/fiber store. 5. Travel.