Heartlines

Just keep following /The heartlines on your hand / Just keep following / The heartlines on your hand / Keep it up / I know you can / Just keep following / The heartlines on your hand

This song by Florence and the Machine has been floating around in my head for a little while. I don’t think that I had really listened to the lyrics until one occasion recently when Dylan and I were driving back from Arizona. It was a Sunday night, and I was dreading the thought of going to bed only to have to get up in a few hours for work in the morning. Dylan was singing the song to me as it played and at that moment, the meaning of the words really hit home.

It’s been while since I’ve written on my blog. Partly because I have switched jobs and found it difficult to scramble some time and thoughts together to write about. I’m now working for a well-known fibers company. It seems that when you really put out your hopes and desires to the Universe, it listens. While I’m just pulling orders and not designing or getting to make anything, and the commute is rather a grueling journey, I’m in a much more positive environment for my creative self. But now that I’m only working 4 days a week, Thursdays are my Fridays and I’m trying to use the extra time to create things.

Except that doesn’t always happen.

Most of the time, at least, the past two months, when I’ve been trying to work on things some part of it doesn’t work out. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to make molds for miniature animal heads for a while now. I think the silicone method we tried will work, however, it is very time-consuming. I have a couple more ideas to try.

I did do some natural dyeing with The Northwoods Hat kit in Logwood from A Verb For Keeping Warm that Dylan was so kind to gift to me for Christmas. And I did finish felting antlers for my deer. I just need to figure out how to attach them. All in due time.

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On top of all of this, the house seems to be a mess a majority of the time, and I’d rather work in a clean environment than a messy one. 

However, all of these things are excuses. It’s not that the house is too messy that I can’t make things, it’s that my brain thinks it’s too messy so makes up an excuse to not work on art. Just like when in school and you have that huge test to study for... when all of a sudden - THE ROOM IS A DISASTER I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING!!! It's not that I don't have the time in the evening to work on things, but sometimes I am very tired of being on my feet all day, and driving does take the mental energy out of me. I think there is a lesson in discipline here somewhere...

Progress happens, but it's slow. I feel passionate about what I want to do, I just have to keep on doing it. I know something will come of me making my art. Just because I can't support myself on it now doesn't mean that I will never be able to. I just have to keep following the heartlines on my hand, just like Florence says. Keep it up. I know you can.